Humour For You

  • If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
    (Hardly seems worth it.)
  • If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
    (Now that's more like it!)
  • The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet .
    (O.M.G.!)
  • A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
    (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
  • A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
    (I'm still not over the pig.)
  • Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
    (Don't try this at home, maybe at work)
  • The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
    (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)
  • The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
    (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
  • The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds
    (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
  • Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
    (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
  • Butterflies taste with their feet.
    (Something I always wanted to know)
  • The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
    (Hmmmmmm.....)
  • Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
    (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference? )
  • Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
    (Okay, so that would be a good thing)
  • A cat's urine glows under a black light.
    (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
  • An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
    ( I know some people like that.)
  • Starfish have no brains
    (I know some people like that too.)
  • Polar bears are left-handed.
    (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)
  • Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (What about that pig? And God love that pig!)

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