Software Programmer Humour


Top 20 Programmer responses when their programs don't work:

20. "That's weird..."
19. "It's never done that before."
18. "It worked yesterday."
17. "How is that possible?"
16. "It must be a hardware problem."
15. "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?" 
14. "There is something funky in your data."
13. "I haven't touched that module in weeks!" 
12. "You must have the wrong version."
11. "It's just some unlucky coincidence." 
10. "I can't test everything!"
9. "THIS can't be the source of THAT." 
8. "It works, but it hasn't been tested." 
7. "Somebody must have changed my code."
6. "Did you check for a virus on your system?"
5. "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel? 
4. "You can't use that version on your system." 
3. "Why do you want to do it that way?"
2. "Where were you when the program blew up?"
And the Number 1 Programmer Response When Their Programs Don't Work 
1. "I thought I fixed that."



Communication Channel

Programmer to Team Leader :
"We can't do this proposed project.**CAN NOT**. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system.
And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these type of projects."

Team Leader to Project Manager :
"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature."

Project Manager to 1st Level Manager : 
"This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it."

1st Level Manager to Senior Level Manager :
"This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project,but with caution."

Senior Level Manager to CEO : 
"This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodelling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by
us under any circumstances."

CEO to Client :
"This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame.

Posted via email from Edward Anil's Blog

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